Relationship Helps You Grow Expansively As An Individual

Changing And Growing In A Loving Relationship

Relationships change us for the better by the growth we experience inside ourselves.

“I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.”

~Wayne Dyer

One of the most frustrating things to deal with in a loving relationship, is trying to get the person we love to change to make our life easier and match the expectations we have around love and being loved.  This really came to light yesterday while I was speaking to a Newlywed couple, helping them with a relationship issue they were experiencing. I love Newlyweds. They are discovering and learning so much as they make the transition from dating, being engaged, to husband and wife. Newlyweds have combined their lives, furniture, money, families and friends.So much has happened to then since becoming married that they often don’t see just how far they have come. The changes have happened on the inside and a loving relationship helps us to grow in so many ways.

Often times couples equate those changes as wrong or unsettling. You see not so long ago you were making individual decisions. Now you are considering your spouses thoughts and feelings. If you don’t that could cause severe problems. You have to see the “We” and work towards going through life together, side by side. You know you have your own way of doing things. Your spouse has their own way of doing things too. This is your perspective and approach to life based on all you have learned and experienced so far. Instead of getting into a Power Struggle, discover your spouse’s perspective and make a change inside yourself to be open to their thoughts and ideas – their perspective. There are no rights or wrongs, your side vs, my side. Together come up with the best approach and solution.

Make every day count. Spend the time you have enjoying each other. Bringing out the best parts of each other. Decide which changes you can make to yourself – such as releasing control over the way laundry is done, furniture is polished, and so on. Love each other for the real person that lives inside. We are all a work in progress.  Instead of trying to change the very person you fell in love with, control what goes on inside. This is what makes a loving relationship.