Intimacy Matters

Affairs rarely start with a stranger – they start with distance. Think about it this way, we are wired for connection and belonging. When we drift apart, we are not connected and unable to share our deeper meaning, let alone have the space and time to do so.

A couple’s intimacy can be gauged by their ability to be emotionally and physically open. When couples are emotionally attuned, they allow themselves to be vulnerable, which in turn fosters a deeper level of intimacy. At the onset of a relationship, couples are open to sharing their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and physical connections with their partner.

As time passes and children enter the picture the entire family system can become chaotic and destabilized. During this time, couples tend to drift apart or turn away from each other which renders the couple emotionally un-attuned (spiritually, physically and emotionally). In our marriage intensives, we strive to help couples understand the different stages of relationships and each other’s inner world relative to those stages and changes.

Emotional attunement is founded on each individual’s ability to communicate their feelings and needs to their partner. Emotional insecurity has its genesis from many factors (low self- esteem, childhood trauma, past rejections, and failed relationships). We strive to help support each of you in clarifying your thoughts and feelings.

Intimacy Substitution / Attachment

All too often, intimacy is replaced with a substitute. The substitute can be of a sexual nature, such as sexual infidelity, pornography, phone sex, or chronic masturbation. The substitute/attachment can also be non-sexual in nature, such as dependencies on children, work, food, gambling, and the list goes on.

Understanding Plus Action Equals Change

By now, you have years together where there has been little time for slowing down and spending time catching up.