Knowing What You Need From Your Relationship For Happiness

Continuous Self Improvement Is The Key To Growth

(Submitted by a client as we worked on her self improvement)

This morning I woke up feeling pretty miserable.  It was another rough weekend for me and was feeling down and sorry for myself.  I have been feeling pretty happy lately knowing that this is from focusing on continuous self improvement.

As a result of my success I have let quite a few of the great habits I have been working so hard to establish lapse.  Daily affirmations?  What are those?  Doing things for myself?  Why bother? Building up my confidence? Not needed since I started feeling great about myself. This sadness forces me to realize I have to get back to continuous self improvement.

What I need to realize is that key to ongoing happiness is a life long process of continuous self improvement.  Knowing What YOU Need From Your Relationship -The Key to Ongoing Happiness.

I must continue to take care of myself first if I am going to be able to care for others.  I must treat myself in a way that I want to be treated by others.  I have to put my needs first and not feel bad about it.

What are my needs?   In order to keep on my path of continuous self improvement, I have learned in working with Debbie Rivera that I have to know myself first and Knowing What YOU Need From Your Relationship  is the key to ongoing happiness . It is important for me to understand what I need so that I experience the key to  happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. This is just one of many steps to continuous self improvement.

Below is one method for determining what you need from a relationship:

From Debbie Rivera – Here is an exercise I gave her to help uncover what she needs from a relationship.

Try this for your own continuous self improvement so that you know what you need from a relationship too:

Do I need  . . .

 Nurturance

1. Being loved unconditionally
   • I need and I claim relationships with people who love me unconditionally despite my shortcomings.
2. Getting hugs and physical affection
3. Being supported when I’m failing or feeling vulnerable
4. Receiving acts of care taking and service
5. Being forgiven
6. Being treated as if my wants and needs are very important.

Guidance & Envisioning

1.  Getting a commitment for a shared future
   • I need and I claim a relationship that is founded upon a commitment for a shared future together.
2. Being praised and rewarded for accomplishments
3. Getting symbolic and thoughtful gifts

Limit Setting

1.  Being told to “suck it up” when I have to do something difficult or scary
2. Being confronted when I’m out of line
   •  I need and I claim my being confronted when my behavior or words are inappropriate
3. Receiving reasonable consequences for abusive or destructive behavior

Functional Needs

1.  Kept agreements
   • I need and I claim a relationship that is built upon a continuous effort to keep agreements
2. Financial responsibility
3. Neatness/cleanliness
4. Activities initiated
5. Handy around house
6. Good grooming/dressing

 Emotional Needs

1.  Affection
2. Surprises
3. Consideration
4.  Thoughtfulness
   • I need and I claim a partner that is thoughtful of my needs and emotions
5. Commitment
6. Trust
7. Loyalty
8. Appreciation

Find out what you need for your own overall happiness and from your relationship too!