Knowing What You Need From Your Relationship For Happiness
Continuous Self Improvement Is The Key To Growth
(Submitted by a client as we worked on her self improvement)
This morning I woke up feeling pretty miserable. It was another rough weekend for me and was feeling down and sorry for myself. I have been feeling pretty happy lately knowing that this is from focusing on continuous self improvement.
As a result of my success I have let quite a few of the great habits I have been working so hard to establish lapse. Daily affirmations? What are those? Doing things for myself? Why bother? Building up my confidence? Not needed since I started feeling great about myself. This sadness forces me to realize I have to get back to continuous self improvement.
What I need to realize is that key to ongoing happiness is a life long process of continuous self improvement. Knowing What YOU Need From Your Relationship -The Key to Ongoing Happiness.
I must continue to take care of myself first if I am going to be able to care for others. I must treat myself in a way that I want to be treated by others. I have to put my needs first and not feel bad about it.
What are my needs? In order to keep on my path of continuous self improvement, I have learned in working with Debbie Rivera that I have to know myself first and Knowing What YOU Need From Your Relationship is the key to ongoing happiness . It is important for me to understand what I need so that I experience the key to happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. This is just one of many steps to continuous self improvement.
Below is one method for determining what you need from a relationship:
From Debbie Rivera – Here is an exercise I gave her to help uncover what she needs from a relationship.
Try this for your own continuous self improvement so that you know what you need from a relationship too:
Do I need . . .
Nurturance
- Being loved unconditionally
- I need and I claim relationships with people who love me unconditionally despite my shortcomings.
- Getting hugs and physical affection
- Being supported when I’m failing or feeling vulnerable
- Receiving acts of care taking and service
- Being forgiven
- Being treated as if my wants and needs are very important.
Guidance & Envisioning
- Getting a commitment for a shared future
- I need and I claim a relationship that is founded upon a commitment for a shared future together.
- Being praised and rewarded for accomplishments
- Getting symbolic and thoughtful gifts
Limit Setting
- Being told to “suck it up” when I have to do something difficult or scary
- Being confronted when I’m out of line
- I need and I claim my being confronted when my behavior or words are inappropriate
- Receiving reasonable consequences for abusive or destructive behavior
Functional Needs
- Kept agreements
- I need and I claim a relationship that is built upon a continuous effort to keep agreements
- Financial responsibility
- Neatness/cleanliness
- Activities initiated
- Handy around house
- Good grooming/dressing
Emotional Needs
- Affection
- Surprises
- Consideration
- Thoughtfulness
- I need and I claim a partner that is thoughtful of my needs and emotions
- Commitment
- Trust
- Loyalty
- Appreciation
Find out what you need for your own overall happiness and from your relationship too!