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5 Best Things to Do for Your Relationship

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5 Best Things to Do for Your Relationship
By Nina Burleigh
O, The Oprah Magazine |  May 15, 2005 . . .  Even though this is from a while back these are great tips from the experts to help you stay in love!

O, The Oprah Magazine

Ways to stay connected to the one you love . . .

Are you ready to take your relationship to a new level? Heed the wisdom of these five experts:

1. “Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed.”

— Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want

2. “Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you’re very involved with your partner’s mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right.”

— John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

3. “When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you’re sorry for what you’ve said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner.”

— Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage

4. “With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn’t have to make love like a porn star.You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused.”

— Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First

5. “All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don’t tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you’ll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks.”

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love
From the May 2005 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

Ashley Judd Appreciates Her Husband

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Ashley Judd Knows the Greatest Secret of All About Men

Men Love To Be Appreciated – just ask Ashley Judd . . .

alt="Ashley Judd"Ashley Judd shares a great relationship tip that she uses in her own marriage to keep the intimacy and connection alive.  You take the time  to notice something positive that your spouse has done and to “do an appreciation every day.”   It always amazes me when I come across a great marriage tip from someone in the spotlight.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of several movie stars but I don’t usually encounter marriage tips from them.  This is different.   Ashley Judd incorporates a great marriage tip that will strengthen your relationship each and every day . . .  Appreciation.  Her tip is to take a few moments every day to let your spouse know something that you appreciate about them. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem at the time, it can make a huge difference in your relationship. Notice the little things such as your spouse always stopping to listen to you instead of ignoring you. Maybe your spouse looks great today and you let then know how easy on the eyes they are.  Perhaps they stopped on the way home to get your favorite coffee. The point is no matter what, even when there are things you notice that irritate you, give them an appreciation.

Here is the post in Showbiz Spy posted by Adam:

ASHLEY Judd always makes time to appreciate her husband.

“The point is, we’re always so quick to say, ‘That hurt my feelings,’ so how about being as quick to say, ‘I really appreciated it when you turned the TV down so we could hear each other,’ the actress, who’s married to racing driver Dario Franchitti, told the new issue of Redbook magazine. “Dario and I do an appreciation every day.

“It was a suggestion from a friend who does it with his wife. Sometimes it’s [she mimics gritting her teeth in annoyance and spits out], ‘I really appreciate…’ But that’s the point of the exercise — even when one is cross, to get some gratitude on board.

“We’ve been together 10 and a half years. We have our eighth anniversary in three weeks.”

Judd, 41, stars opposite Dwayne Johnson and Julie Andrews in new movie Tooth Fairy, which hit theaters this weekend.

The screen siren says she decided to accept her role in the children’s flick after being told by her agent it would be a “really fun” experience. And absolutely nothing to do with getting a paycheck!

“My agent sent me this script and she said, ‘I have a feeling that this would be a really fun experience for you’,” Judd recalled. “Dwayne Johnson is adorable and funny, and I had the unexpected pleasure of getting to have Destiny Whitlock in my life, the little girl who plays my daughter.”

The Dream You Have For Your Marriage

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Dream Come True Marriage

alt"dream marriage"Living the dream of a happy marriage

Dreams are such a living source of hope. Hope for what is possible. This is also true for your relationship. There is a dream that lives inside you that shows you where you want your relationship to be.  Sometimes, you are dreaming about having a more romantic relationship with passion and fire. Perhaps you dream of having more peace and harmony in your relationship. You also may feel as if you come last and you long for a relationship in which you feel you are the priority. Even hoping for more understanding and deeper communication is another aspect of  dreaming about a different type of relationship than you have right now.

The Relationship We Dream Of Having

Relationship dreams lead you to what you want and need from your spouse.  Today, I was inspired by reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Blog and wanted to share it with you. Listen to the dream within for your relationship. Then have a conversation with your spouse about what you want and need right now from them. They can’t read your mind. They can’t see your dreams. They do want you to be happy. Pick a time when you can be free to talk about ideas and dreams without time restraints. Allowing yourself the opportunity to share what really matters makes for a closeness with the two of you. Catch up with each other. See what your spouse has been wrestling with at work or with extended family. Sometimes the very reason that we are not connecting or having the Dreamy Relationship we want is because we are just not getting enough time to allow each other the space and time to explore thoughts, hopes , and dreams.

I often tell couples this one statistic: The average couple only speaks to each other 12 minutes a day – that includes all forms of communication.  Get connected again. Talk and dream together. Share your thoughts about what you want to see happening for the two of you in 5 years. It will make such a difference on your relationship!


For More inspiration Visit The Dr. Wayne Dyer Blog – Dr. Wayne Dyer

What dreams about your relationship live inside of you?

Relationship Tip Of The Week

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Happy Thoughts Keep Love Alive

Seeing Good In The One You Love

How do you stop that uncomfortable distance in your relationship? Relationships can often times seem to just dangle by a mere thread. You talk about your day to day life but underneath there are words left unsaid. You have hurt, and pain  as we all do by being in the closeness and complexity of your relationships. I experience it too.  As the days float by we become just like a cloud drifting away from each other. We seem to be at opposites ends of the world at times while living in the same house and sharing the same room. Here’s a Relationship Tip that will chart a new course for the two of you and create a new way of opening up. For the rest of this week, every single day, start off with something great that endears you to the one you love.  Express that out loud to them before they leave for work.  The night before formulate at least one great trait that you notice. Perhaps they are a great listener, really patient, kind to animals, generous, thoughtful, etc. It will come straight from your heart. At first it may seem impossible but keep running the thoughts by about all the things you feel are wrong with the one you love. Move past the negative. Keep going until you remember what endeared you to them in the first place. I know you can do it. Then as you notice they are gathering what they need to head out the door, say there is something I want you to know… I love the way you always take the time to listen to me no matter what. I really appreciate that about you. Then tell them you love them and you will see them tonight and by all means use your own words…they are your words. Keep doing this all week long with no expectation of getting something back. This is about giving to the one you love. And never start off with a great positive trait only to end with adding several negative ones at the same time. Resist the temptation. Keep it up everyday for a week and see what happens. At first they will be looking for the old pattern but keep up the good work. It is going to make a huge difference in your relationship.

Marriage Rituals…what happy couples do

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Puppy Love

Marriage Rituals Keep Love Alive


Photo by Natalia Romay

Did you ever notice how happy your dog is to see you at the end of the day? For that matter, try an experiment and just walk out the door and come back in after a couple of moments and you will get the same response. Your dog will greet you with such joy and excitement. Your dog will spin around, wag its tails, and even jump up just to get your attention. I know that I can learn a lot from my dog.  Well, he is actually a puppy…an early Christmas present from my son.  The puppy is full of happiness and is very affectionate. The experience has helped me to remember how important it is to greet your spouse with such enthusiasm at the end of the day. What I mean by that is that take the time to greet your spouse at the door with a smile and kind word. Hold off on telling all the daily events until you take a few moments to embrace and welcome each other back home. You would be amazed at what a smile does for someone walking in the door with the words “I missed you, today.” It will change everything about the rest of the evening and besides the daily worries will still be there but the way you are able to face them will be forever changed.

What rituals do you incorporate in your marriage?

Do you have intimacy in your relationship?

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A huge part of any relationship is intimacy and in order for the relationship to last, you need to have a commitment to each other. True intimacy is an overlapping of each other. You become closer and closer with the space between you lessening and lessening.

Love Connection

An Intimate Relationship

You have a great way of communicating and are able to keep yourself open to new discoveries about each other.

Intimacy, is the feeling you have for being close and connected to each other. You can get to this within your relationship through sharing and great communication over time. You feel a strong bond and connection to each other.

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, on the other hand, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship no matter what.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person even if things get tough. Let’s face it, relationships have ups and downs. Its just like a roller coaster ride. Make your mind up to stay together. Develop a way of really listening to each other. The intimacy and connection you feel for each other will make your love go the distance.

Did You Really Hear Me…

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Love

Relationship Tips


Today I had the pleasure of meeting Joe that is engaged and looking forward to married life. We were having a great discussion about relationships. We discussed the difference between men and women since I saw that all too familiar glazed look in his eyes as I was giving him more information than he needed or wanted. I told him that was a common need in women to explain themselves by giving all the details along with the vital bits of info. These details are an important piece of our sharing and communicating as women.  In order to fully feel that we are understood, we must explain exactly what happened, play by play. He laughed and relaxed with me after my long winded explanation. I further explained that as women, we often confuse men by letting them think that we have a problem we want them to solve when we are upset.  Wrong.  We want to be heard.  There is something magical about telling you what happened. You are the safety net and we can vent all that happened on the day to you…you only.  Your listening will actually gain you points as well as help us to sort it all out. Sometimes when we are upset, you may think we are upset with you. Girls this is where you can help your guys out. Start out by telling them that there is no problem for them to solve. Then tell them you are not upset with them. On the contrary. Tell them that you need them to just let them vent. This will be a great stress reducer for both of you. Try it and keep trying it. Believe in your power of love. I know I do.

What is your relationship tip?

Welcome to Faces Of The Heart

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“You’re About to Discover the Love &

Relationship-Building Secrets For Couples

That Helped Me Grow My Own Relationship

And the Shocking Story of What It Took To Learn

These Secrets (That Even My Husband Doesn’t Know) …”


  • Tired of all the arguments and fighting?
  • Missing the fun you once had?
  • Trying to hold it all together when it is falling apart?
  • Wishing you never even met?
  • Thinking there is something more than this?
  • Tired of the hurtful and angry words?

Curious About How I Can Help?

Why not test the waters out ?

I specialize in helping couples reconnect and find the passion and romance. Life is too short to feel things can’t be better in your relationship. It just takes a few steps to turn things around and get connected again to each other. As a matter of fact, you will have an even better relationship once you follow the steps since you have a history together and a better understanding of each other. Find out what steps are right for your relationship. Click here to contact me right now your Relationship Rescue Session

The one and only Relationship Rescue Session  . . .

Do you want to change but don’t know where to begin?

Get ready to plug into your true relationship potential. My in-the-trenches approach to coaching will help you create a super-charged path to vibrant love, intimacy, and relationship happiness. Whether you want to clear emotional residue, renovate your love life, build a spiritual connection with your partner, or just pick my Love Making brain, I will work with you during a 45 minute phone or Skype consultation to create a lifestyle game plan. But be prepared. I am a detective, a strategist and soul mechanic. We will look at every nook and cranny of your life in order to shift your energy and raise your vitality to new heights. In the end, I will give you the tools and action plan you need to navigate your relationship journey. I will even divulge some of my best relationship building secrets.   Sound good? Contact me!


Relationship Tip Of The Week

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Love is the missing piece of the puzzle

Relationship Tip Of The Week

The Power Of Love!

Love is such a powerful force. You do things in the name of love that you could have never imagined. Love grows and lives in your heart. On the other side of your way of thinking, in terms of the one you love, there is the day to day living that causes frustration. Remember that when you first came together you each focused on each other blocking day to day life out. You could not wait for the day to get to a point so that the two of you could be alone together. As time goes by, you get more comfortable and allow more of the day to day life to become the focus. The problem with that is that it becomes less and less about the person you love. Today start making it about the love of your life. Make them feel your love. Express it. Show them. Try it again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes apart of your day. This one step will change everything in your relationship. It will be just like finding the missing piece of the puzzle that makes love last with passion and excitement. Believe in the power of your love. I know I do.

What are your thoughts?

There Is Something I Love About You…

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Being In Love


You will sometimes look at the person next to you and wonder why you have grown so far apart.  Over time as you feel you have asked every question that needed to be asked and found out each and every detail of your lover’s life before you became the one.  The truth is that you will never discover all there is to know.  You are complex and so is the love of your life.  I love to give a quiz I came across on a marriage web site.  It asks really tough questions different from the usual ones you ask.  The other night I gave the quiz to the workshop attendees that were married anywhere from two to 32 years.  Every couple actually did quite well except for a few of the really tough questions.  That got me thinking about how much acceptance and understanding come into play in a happy relationship.  You see, the more you resist the temptation to change and accept the other person’s point of few, the more open the love of your life will be with you.  This works the same way for you. The more eager you are to come from a mindset of understanding and acceptance, the closer you become.  True intimacy can only be found when you both come from a place of sharing all that you are, revealing your true self a little lore over time.  You will always discover something new and different which adds to the richness of your relationship.  Today make it a point to find out something new about the love of your life by asking a different type of question.  For fun, I added the quiz to the Caring For Your Relationship Section.  Check it out and see how you both do on the quiz.

What Movie Title Describes Your Relationship?

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The movies are such a great outlet and escape.  Some of my favorites are the classics and great message movies.  Casa Blanca, The Unforgiven (my husband really opened up the meaning behind this one), Marley and Me, any Carey Grant movie, Meet Joe Black, Out Of Africa and many many more.  There are messages in all movies.  After all they are written by a living breathing human being that has been in a relationship.   The movies have great titles…Dr. Strangelove…The Wedding Planner…Austrailia…Gone With The Wind… and the ones you’re thinking about too.  During the course of working with clients, I mentioned to one of my clients that I was introducing  the topic of relationships at a new workshop that just started.  I asked him what movie describes his relationship by the message in a movie.  He quickly said Gone With The Wind.  That stopped me dead in my tracks as the reality sank in with where he is in relationship with his wife.  What changed?  What can change?  Why we need the happy ending… we have been conditioned to expect it.  The same is true for your relationships. You want the happy ending.  So how do you get that?  Just like in the movies, you realize what really matters.  You make that person the priority. You know yourself so well that you can articulate your needs. You co-create the relationship that works for the two of you. You know how to be in a relationship. You discover new things about each other. You change things so that they do not become routine and predictable like only grocery shopping on a certain day…change is growth. So now what movie do you want your relationship to be?

Our Love Can Never End

The Story Of Us

Marriage Intensives

Sometimes you get to a place in your marriage where you know you need help. I suggest that you consider attending a 3-Day Marriage Intensive. You willget much farther than one hour a week and be able to dig deeper into what changes can turn your marriage around. Call to discuss your situaltion today to know if a marriage intensive will help you.

Have you been betrayed by your spouses’s affair?

Any type of betrayal is devastating. Affairs are particularly painful for many reasons. You feel violtaed and hurt. Affairs cause the very foundation your marriage is built on to be shaky and the future seems very uncertain. I will help you through the devastation. Find out how - contact me today.

Couples Seminars, Workshops, and Retreats

alt-"Marriage Workshop" Couples thrive in a learning environment with other couples. Couples Workshops are delivered through half day seminars, full day workshops, and couples's weekend retreats throughout the year.
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