Training & Method
Relational Life Coaching
Direct, honest, and unwilling to pretend a hard truth isn’t a hard truth — a way of naming the real patterns underneath a marriage’s pain, so they can finally be broken instead of repeated.
In Training Toward Certification — Terry RealI’m a coach, not a therapist. Relational Life Therapy is the clinical name for this method — I’m currently in coursework toward certification with Terry Real, and I bring what I’m learning directly into my coaching work with couples.
The Approach
Naming the Pattern, Not Just Managing the Symptom
This approach doesn’t tiptoe around what’s actually happening in a marriage. It names the real pattern underneath the fighting or the silence — often something learned long before the marriage even began, carried forward without either partner realizing it — and works directly to break it, not just soothe it for the moment.
It’s built on real respect for both people in the room, with zero tolerance for shame — the goal is never to make anyone feel small, but to be honest enough that something can actually change.
In Practice
How This Shows Up in Coaching
Naming the Old Pattern
Recognizing the way each of you learned to protect yourself long before this marriage — and how that old strategy is quietly running the show now.
In session: “This isn’t really about the dishes — this is the pattern you learned to survive with, showing up here.”
Full Respect, No Shame
Being honest about what isn’t working, without ever making either partner feel small for having gotten there.
In session: naming a hard truth directly, and in the same breath, making sure both of you know you’re not the villain for it.
Choosing the New Response
Once the old pattern is visible, practicing a genuinely different response in real time — not just talking about change, but doing it in the room.
In session: catching the old reflex mid-sentence, and choosing, together, to respond differently this time.
See This Work in Practice
This directness is part of a hybrid approach — woven together with Gottman, EFT, and Imago, around your unique story.